The Desires of My Heart

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This was my view last Tuesday as I sat waiting to get my mammogram. This is a new facility and the furnishings are beautiful. There is coffee, water and snacks. The lighting is just right, and there are live plants all around.

Everything is set up to be soothing and relaxing. It’s set to put the patient at ease. Unfortunately for me, I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost two years ago, and I’m nervous wreck. I’m am one year out from my treatments.

The days of having a routine mammogram, with no worry are over.

I’ve had a lumpectomy followed by several months of chemo and radiation. It was a total of  10 months of ups and downs, wins and losses.

I had my exam and an ultrasound and I waited.

I asked God to give me a clear report and give me strength and peace.

I also asked for a scripture and I was led to Psalm 37 –

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
    dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.

I had done all I could. It was in God’s hands now. So I waited and because I’m a survivor I was given my result immediately.

All is well.

I can come back in six months.

Praise God! In that moment, a weight was lifted. I can carry on again, until the next time.

I try to be brave every day, but this is the day when despite my best efforts, its a real struggle. The struggle is real!

Here’s what I’ve learned through all of this.

I have a choice. I can live in worry and fear every day that every pain or ache is a re-occurrence or something to worry about, or I can live with joy each day, expecting the best always.

So I’m choosing to live life to the fullest.

I’m choosing to embrace the good and leave the bad.

I’m choosing to live for today and let tomorrow care for itself.

There is certainly enough worry for today right?

I’m choosing to trust in the Lord and do good.

I’m believing that He will in turn give me the desires of my heart.

I pray that you will do the same.

Carla

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